dingleberries
by pizza frustration
Summary: Rin has made a bet with her brother; if she doesn't become a famous author, well, horrible stuff ensues. crack fic.


Rin struggles for the opening scene of her to-be novel. It has to be quirky. It has to be great. She must succeed in this novel becoming successful, otherwise she'll lose her bet with her brother, and have to massage his feet for a week and eat caviar, which she hates more than Miku Hatsune.

She glances over at her said sibling, as he slurps his glass of milk and watches an angry reporter on TV.

_That's it_.

An angry reporter—an angry reporter can be against her main character!

She types furiously down her ideas into the word document and smiles triumphantly. It'll begin with the protagonist—in which, Rin imagines to be herself in a more beautiful and well-endowed way—who is a famous actress from a popular TV series. She's in her secret hideout with her boss—who Rin envisions to be a man in his late 40s, with long purple hair and a strong jawline—as she's actually part of a secret organisation which prevents the revealing of magic to the public.

Her next mission is to find a magic ring, which great power has been dormant for 3000 years, and expected to awaken in the coming months. It's hidden in the heart of one of Egypt's famous pyramid structures, and requires her taking under another identity as a native in order to retrieve it before the power unleashes itself, and causes inevitable doom on Earth and all its inhabitants.

Already, Rin can tell it's going to be A HIT. The whole media is going for amazing heroines, so hell, there's no kidding it won't _not_ become a movie. She smiles proudly at her work-in-progress, and continues:

As she leaves the secret hideout, she is ambushed by an angry reporter—whom Rin puts her brother, Len, as, for now—who questions her recent actions to withdraw from her position in another TV show.

Rin's creative juices run dry and she leaves her laptop on the lounge to go make a cup of tea. When she returns, however—

_ALL OF A SUDDEN THE REPORTER GRABS THE ACTRESS AND DRAGS HER TO A RESTAURANT WHERE CAVIAR IS THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN ALL THE DISHES._

"_LET'S DATE," HE YELLS, BECAUSE HE'S STILL ANGRY._

"_I DON'T LIKE CAVIAR THO!" THE ACTRESS YELLS BACK. "AND I AM LATE FOR MY INTERVIEW FOR MTV."_

"_TOO BAD," THE REPORTER ARGUES, AND THEN ORDERS ALL THE DISHES ON THE MENU. "EAT ALL OF THEM AND I WILL TELL YOU THE REAL LOCATION OF THE MAGIC RING."_

"_IT ISN'T IN EGYPT?" THE ACTRESS ASKS, SHOCKED._

_THE REPORTER SMILES SEEDILY. "NO." AND THEN HE EATS ALL OF THE FOOD. ALL OF IT. BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY._

_THE ACTRESS GASPS, BUT BEGINS TO EAT HER DISHES, LEAVING ONLY THE CAVIAR-PARTS ASIDE._

"_YOU HAVE TO EAT THAT TOO!" THE REPORTER EXCLAIMS._

"_CAN'T I HAVE ANOTHER OPTION?" THE ACTRESS PLEADS._

_THE ANGRY MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE THE AUTHOR'S BROTHER THINKS FOR A MOMENT. "WELL," HE BEGINS. "WE COULD HAVE SE_

Rin doesn't want to imagine what was going to come next. She turns to glare at her brother, who is still in the same position since she left, staring at the TV screen in a daze.

"Len," she addresses in a flat tone. "You do realise that I'm temporarily making the characters as us."

Len just looks at her questioningly from across the room. "What characters?"

"The ones in my soon-to-be famous novel," she tells him. "But you know that already because you typed all of this."

Her brother stands from the couch, walking over to read the things typed up onto the screen. He frowns. "Rin, that's so _sick_. I can't believe you wrote that," he says.

"I didn't write it! You did! You're the one who's sick!" she argues, blushing.

"Your _face_ is sick!" he rebuts.

"Your _mum_ is sick!" Rin exclaims. Wait a minute… well, anyway. "Then who did it?!"

Then Len points past Rin, almost hitting her in the face. "IT WAS THE CAT."

"But cats -"

"_It was me_," he interrupts, whispering, before running out of the lounge room. Rin hears the front door slam.

_SHE STARTS TO CRY OUT OF CONCERN FOR HER AND HER BROTHER'S FUTURE._

_SUCH PLOT TWIST._

_VERY WOW._

_WHAT WILL DO?_

* * *

HAHA I'M SORRY

NO UPDATES

BECAUSE SCHOOL IS RUDE. AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO ON INSTAGRAM AND COSPLAY. SO HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY BADLY WRITTEN; I TYPED IT UP IN HALF-AN-HOUR, NO GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION CHECK BECAUSE I NEED TO SLEEP GBYE


End file.
